Anthem of the Angels
by KitTales95
Summary: Clarke, Raven, and Bellamy learn how to cope with Finn's death. Clarke discovers something the jeopardizes the new truce between the Ark survivors and the Grounders. The battle with Mount Weather ensues. Three-shot. STRICTLY FLARKE. Unintentional one-sided Bellarke.
1. Finn's Justice

**_**/AN: Okay so this is my first two shot... and my first 100 fanfic. I have been completely distraught by the**_****Spacewalker ****_episode. If you haven't seen it yet, leave this page because this fanfic is one big spoiler. You have been warned._**

_**NOTE: Before any flamers, vultures, or drama starters start in, I would like to say this: This fanfic is STRICTLY Flarke, and in this moment Bellamy and Clarke are just two friends attempting to find comfort in each other in a COMPLETELY platonic way. Please don't make it out to be more than it is. I respect the Bellarke shippers and their ship, even if I don't agree with it. Please do the same for the Flarke shippers. :) If you don't like it you don't have to read it. :P**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100. If I did, Finn would not be dead./**_

**Clarke's** _**POV**_

Clarke didn't remember walking back to camp. She didn't remember hearing Raven's lament from almost two football fields away. She didn't remember collapsing into Bellamy's arms when she reentered the compound. All she saw, all she heard was Finn. Her mind was filled with the dirty white boy that she had come to love. Begging for the grounders to take her instead, telling Finn she loved him back, killing Finn in the most merciful way possible.

"_Thanks, princess," _that's what he'd said to her, right before he died.

It all kept replaying, over and over and over in an endless, relentless loop. Clarke couldn't see or hear anything else.

"_Thanks, princess,"_ she wanted it to stop, she _needed _it to stop. Tears leaked from Clarke's eyes in a never ending flow of physical sorrow, but she made no move to wipe them away.

Slowly, she started to regain awareness. Everything was moving in slow motion, as if she was moving at the speed of light.

"Clarke? Can you hear me?" Light was being shined into Clarke's eyes, that much she knew, although she couldn't see the person behind the flash. It sounded like her mom. She wanted to respond in someway, let her mom know that she was okay. That she could hear her. She decided to try her voice out.

"Finn…" No. No that was wrong. Was that her voice? It sounded so weak… she had meant to call out for her mom.

Suddenly, lights, sounds, movement all became a very real tidal wave that crashed into her without reserve. All at once Clarke could see and hear everything around her. She felt light headed.

"Oh god, did she just…?" Octavia's hands covered her mouth in shock.

"I don't think she realizes what's going on, Octavia." Bellamy reasoned from his spot to Clarke's right.

"I think she's in shock… Clarke if you can hear me, I need you to blink once for yes." Abby was in front of her, trying to initiate eye contact.

Clarke blinked once. She didn't trust her voice anymore.

Someone was crying hysterically. Clarke looked around for the sound in a hazy daze. She quickly found Raven in a heap on the floor, sobbing.

That's when it hit her. The memories collided with her waking mind and vertigo took over. Whatever contents were in her stomach previously, ended up on the floor where Bellamy once stood.

"_Thanks, princess,"_

"No… No, no, no, no, no…" Tears filled Clarke's eyes again as she caught Abby's gaze. "Finn, he's… I… oh, mom!" The full realization of what she had done was hitting her full force. The truth of Finn's death shook Clarke to her core until she couldn't hold it in anymore.

Abby's arms were around Clarke in an instant, holding her in a firm embrace. "I know sweetie. I know…"

Clarke didn't know how long she had spent crying Finn's name into her mother's shoulder, but by the time she had gone quiet, Raven had cried herself to sleep, the bile on the floor from earlier had been cleaned up, and the only people left in the room other than herself was Abby, Bellamy, and a passed out Raven.

_**Third Person POV  
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The next few days that passed were uneventful. Finn hadn't had a funeral, or a burial or anything. There were no services held for him. The grounders had disposed of his body in the fire pit that had been meant to torture him. They had argued that he had, had a merciful death, therefore they were in charge of what happened to his body. No one argued with them. Clarke had been in shock, Raven was prostrate with grief, and Bellamy was busy comforting the both of them and following Abby's orders. Anyone else who could've fought for Finn's body, didn't.

Additionally, the camp held nothing in Finn's remembrance. There was no wake, no moment of silence, nothing to recognize that he had been there. That he was just as much a part of the Ark survivors as the rest of them. The camp was happy enough to forget that Finn had existed. To them he was the Spacewalker. To them he was the kid who spent three months of the Ark's oxygen for a good time. But to Clarke, Raven, and Bellamy… Finn had been so much more.

Finn had been their friend, their peace keeper, the gravity that kept them grounded. Finn had shown Bellamy a better way of leading and a better way to handle things. For Raven, Finn was the only family that she had left and without him, she had become a shell of herself. To Clarke, Finn was her friend, her lover and her light. He had been the one to show her that there was more to the ground than meets the eye. He had been the one that had shown her there was an element of fun to be had in every situation, and Clarke missed him with every fiber of her being.

"We can hold our own memorial," Bellamy suggested.

The trio sat in a triangular fashion around a campfire. They hadn't been allowed to join in on the first Grounder/Camp meeting, on the orders of remaining council members. They were children in mourning and they were going to be treated as such. Bellamy knew differently. They had tried to help a war criminal escape execution; had let their feelings of friendship get in the way of rational thinking and were no longer allowed to be in the loop. And that pissed Bellamy off more than anything.

The hundred had been handling things fairly well with the cards they had been dealt, at least right up until the last few weeks. They knew the ground better, the people better, they could help settle this war with Mount Weather. And yet he and what was left of his friends were being forced to sit around and wallow in their misery. It was going to drive Bellamy mad. He needed to do something and soon.

"We could go off into the woods, find a clearing or something and say a few words. Just something to give us some closure." He poked at the fire, unsure of himself.

"I don't need closure." Raven said, her eyes a dull brown compared to what they once had been. "I just need to forget."

Clarke shook her head. "I don't want to forget him. That's not what Finn would've wanted and that's not how we keep his memory alive." She didn't want to forget the man that had turned her view on life completely upside down.

"How would you know what Finn would want, Clarke? You've only known him a few weeks. Don't pretend like you were anything more than a fling to him. _I _was his family. Not you," Raven's voice trembled. If it was with rage or sorrow, Clarke couldn't tell, but if she had to take a guess it was a little bit of both.

"Raven, that's enough." Bellamy told her firmly. "If there was anything that Finn taught us it was that we don't solve issues by fighting amongst ourselves." Raven fell silent. She knew that what Bellamy said was true. "Now we can go into those woods and remember Finn in a way that serves him well, or we can continue to sit here and simmer in our self pity."

"How, Bellamy? There are guards at the gate. We couldn't leave even if we wanted to." Clarke said.

Bellamy's eyes hardened. In his near constant and disorganized thought process, he'd forgotten about the unwavering guard. He thought for a moment.

Octavia's voice cut into Bellamy's silent contemplation. "I can get you guys out for an hour or so." The trio's eyes turned to her. "Murphy is on guard at the gate. He owes me a favor. I can distract the second guard and Murphy will cut power to the gate temporarily so you can get out."

"That's all fine and dandy, but how do we get back in?" Raven asked, sitting down again.

"Murphy has an extra talkie he can loan you until you get back. Just radio him when you're ready and I'll put down a section of fence on the other side of camp."

Bellamy mulled the thought over in his head. "Sounds like a solid plan. How soon can you make it happen?"

"Give me a few minutes to set everything up. I'll get you guys out of here in no time."

Raven turned on Octavia. "Just why the hell are you helping us anyway? I didn't see _you_ helping Finn fight for his life."

Octavia glared back at Raven. "Finn was my friend too, Reyes. I'm just trying to help." Raven's eyes watered again and she returned to her seat. Octavia turned back to Bellamy. "If you three want to escape for a bit tonight, be at the front gates at dusk." Octavia turned and left without saying anything else.

Clarke sighed. This wasn't getting any easier.

* * *

><p>At dusk, Clarke, Bellamy, and Raven walked along the outskirts of the fence. They were eager to get away from camp, away from the tyranny of the new Ark establishment.<p>

Clarke spotted Murphy walking towards them, glancing over his shoulder every few steps. "Man, what kind of world is it where people have to sneak out of camp just to grieve properly?" he said quietly when he reached them.

"This one, apparently." Bellamy replied.

"This section of fence will be off for an hour. You have until then to get back. I won't be able to do this again any time soon. So get it all out of your system while you can." Murphy looked between the three of them. "Just do me a favor and don't get caught. My ass is on the line too."

"We'll do what we can, Murphy." Clarke said as she slid herself through the dead wires.

Bellamy followed suit. "We'll be back before then," he assured him.

Raven looked at Murphy and hesitated. Making a split second decision, she quickly kissed his cheek. "Thank you." Raven followed Clarke and Bellamy through the wires and into the cover of the woods.

Murphy stared in shock at Raven's retreating back. He quickly recovered and scoffed. "Okay, then."

* * *

><p>It was dark now, and the forest was alive in fluorescent hues of blue and green.<p>

_Finn would love this, _Clarke thought to herself. She, Raven and Bellamy stood in a triangular circle in a small clearing that they had found close to camp.

"How are we supposed to do this?" Raven asked.

"I'm… not sure," Bellamy responded. He fidgeted uncomfortably.

None of them had ever really been to a funeral. When someone died on the ark, close family and friends would gather around and their dead loved ones would be put inside an airlock chamber and floated. Afterward, they would gather at someone's home and spend time together.

"We aren't on the Ark anymore. We're on the ground. The same rules and traditions that worked up there don't work down here. And Finn deserves better than the same old crap anyway. Finn's death deserves justice." Clarke pulled a small flask from her back pocket.

"Where did you get that?" Raven asked, staring at the object in Clarke's hands.

"I've had it for a while. I forgot about it until now," Clarke replied, softly. Finn had found it once while looking through the bunker. She decided that she would use it to remember him.

Bellamy reached for the flask. "May I?" Clarke handed him the metal container. Bellamy held the cold material in his hands for a moment, unsure of what he was going to do with it. And then all at once words started pouring from his mouth like a waterfall.

"You know, I hated you at first. I thought you were pompous and arrogant and I hated how you walked around like you owned the place," Bellamy thought out loud. His eyes were downcast towards his feet. "I wish I could remember when I started to think of you as an equal. As my friend. I wish there was something I could've done to save you. I wish there was something I could've done to stop what happened…"

Bellamy took a deep shuddering breath before continuing. "I can't help but feel responsible for the events of that day at the village. I knew you weren't in your right mind and I sent you off on your own anyway, with only Murphy to keep you in line. Sometimes I think if I had gone instead that I could've stopped it. Like maybe I could've gotten you out of there before anything too serious happened. There were so many things I wish I could've done differently that day. I'm sorry Finn…"

A lone tear escaped and rolled down Bellamy's cheek. Quickly, he raised the flask towards the sky before bringing it back down and taking a shot.

Raven was crying softly off to the side.

Clarke wiped her eyes and placed a comforting hand on Bellamy's arm. "It wasn't your fault, Bells. You can't blame yourself for what happened…"

"Then who do I blame, Clarke? Because I sure as hell can't blame Finn." Bellamy replied, taking another shot from the flask.

Clarke looked between Bellamy and Raven, unsure of what to say. Finally, she spoke up. "I don't think there's anyone to blame for what happened. It was a crappy situation and it was handled even worse. What happened to Finn…" Clarke choked a bit on Finn's name. She took a deep breath and tried again. "What happened to Finn, could've happened to any of us."

Bellamy nodded, and bowed his head in an attempt to hide his face as he silently wept.

Raven wiped the tears from her face and reached for the flask. Bellamy handed it to her without a word. Raven suppressed a cry as she prepared to speak. "I miss you so much, Finn… You were my best and oldest friend. I still can't believe you're gone…" Her body was wracked with silent sobs. "And I am trying _so _hard to forgive Clarke for doing what she did. I have to keep telling myself that it was an act of mercy. That if it wasn't for her that you would've suffered so much more."

Clarke was sobbing now, Raven's words reminding her the _she _was the one who took Finn's life in the end. Clarke still had nightmares about that night. She wanted so badly to forget those images in her head… and then suddenly she was being crushed into Bellamy's chest. The thoughts of Finn that plagued her mind screeched to a halt if only for the moment. Raven's words were drowned out by the roaring in Clarke's ears.

Clarke's breathing calmed, though tears still ran unchecked down her cheeks. Her arms were around Bellamy in a tight hug as they listened to Raven finish.

"I wish more than anything that I could bring you back to me. To us. But I hope that wherever you ended up, that you're happy and that you're at peace." By the time Raven was done, her tears had run dry. She lifted the flask to the sky, mirroring Bellamy's previous actions and drank deeply from the container.

Clarke pulled away from Bellamy. "Thank you," she said. She didn't know why he had clung to her so, but she was glad that he did. It had allowed her to once again find her bearings in the sea of sorrow and guilt that she had been feeling.

Clarke walked two feet to Raven and wrapped her arms around the girl. "I'm so sorry, Raven." she said.

Raven clutched onto Clarke and replied, "It wasn't your fault Clarke. You did all you could." Raven was crying into Clarke's shoulder. "You did all you could and in the end you did right by him. Finn would've suffered and died a slow and painful death. He died quickly and as painlessly as possible. And he died knowing he was loved. That's all any of us could've ever wanted."

_I forgive you, _is what Raven had wanted to say. But pride caught the words in her throat so she tried to add her feelings of forgiveness to her words instead.

Clarke seemed to understand because she nodded against Raven's shoulder. "Thank you," the words came out no more than a whisper but Raven heard them loud and clear.

"I loved him too," Clarke breathed. She hadn't meant to say it. The words escaped her mouth before she had a chance to catch them.

"I know, Clarke." Raven pulled away and wiped the tears away from her face before handing the nearly empty flask to Clarke.

Clarke stared at the object in her hand for a moment. She didn't know what to say. She knew that she missed Finn. And the guilt that she felt for killing him was overwhelming. All at once her thoughts seemed to find a single starting point and she knew where to begin her part of the makeshift wake.

"Ending Finn's life was the easiest and the hardest decision that I have ever had to make. When I walked up to Lexa, I had every intention of keeping my promise to you, Raven. If she wouldn't bargain, I'd kill her.

And then I got there. I looked around at all of the grounders that surrounded me, all of the grounders that surrounded Finn… I thought of all of the people back at camp and all of our people still at Mount Weather and I knew there was no way that I would get Finn and myself out of there alive. I knew there was no way that we would be able to rescue our people without that truce. And if I killed Lexa and lost our lives in the process… we would lose everything to the people inside that mountain." Clarke took a shuddering breath as the words flew from her mouth. This was the first time that she had told someone what happened in the valley that night.

"Still, I tried to bargain with Lexa. I tried to get her to take me instead. I had killed so many more of her people than Finn had. Surely, I thought that I was worth more." Tears streamed down her face. "Lexa refused. I tried to tell her that it was _my _fault that Finn had killed her people. That he had been looking for _me._ Again, she held her ground. "_Then he shall die for you", _she had said. That's when I knew that there was no winning this.

I knew if I didn't do something that they were going to torture Finn while we all watched. And as I imagined his screams in my head, I couldn't do it. I'd never survive if they were the ones to kill him." Clarke sobbed as the images of her conversation with Lexa danced painfully through her mind.

"I asked her if I could say goodbye… and thankfully she granted me that. As I walked toward where they had Finn tied to a stake, all I could think of was what I was going to do. I think when he saw me coming he knew what I was there for. I followed my first instinct and kissed him, as a distraction I guess. And I told him I loved him…"

Bellamy rubbed Clarke's back as she tried to stymie the flow of tears. "He told me that he was scared, so I told him that he was going to be okay. I pulled him into a hug and I used the blade the Raven gave me to pierce his aortic artery…"

"_Thanks, princess."_

The words still stung more than any blade ever could. "Finn used his last words to tell me thank you," she saved the princess part. No one else had to know about that. Those words had been for her and her alone.

"You thanked me, Finn… So I have to believe that I made the right choice. That ending your life before the grounders got to you was what you wanted. I'm praying that it is what you wanted…" Clarke raised the flask towards the sky as her companions did previously before her, and finished the rest of the alcohol in the metal container.

The minutes passed, and the trio sat in silent remembrance. In her heart, Clarke truly believed that this is how Finn would've wanted to be remembered.

Bellamy checked his watch. "I wish we could stay out here longer… I don't want to go back to camp, but we're running out of time… How do we end this?"

Raven spoke up first. "The Ark's final send off. It's tradition, and it's what Finn would have wanted."

Bellamy nodded in agreement.

"He would want you to say it, Raven."

Raven held a slightly shocked expression over her features. She was sure that Clarke would've wanted the opportunity. "Are you sure?"

"You were his family first," Clarke responded. "Finn would want it to be you."

"Okay…" Raven took a deep breath and a few moments to recall the wake's sign off. "In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again."

"May we meet again," Bellamy and Clarke echoed.

The trio began the short trek back to Camp Jaha.

_**/AN: So I kinda want to kick myself in the ass right now. Somehow I ended up writing some very, very miniscule Bellarke fluff... Just for the record, I completely despise this ship and I'm about 99.9% sure that it's the secret reason that Finn is dead. But, I digress. In any case, I'll have part two up very soon. :) Keep on keeping on.**_

_**-Kit/**_


	2. Drastic Measures

_**/AN: I changed my mind. This is going to be a three part story. I change my mind often apparently, as I also changed the title. Anyway, here's part two.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100. /**_

_**Clarke s POV**_

Sneaking back into Camp Jaha had been easy. Murphy had been keeping a close eye on the exposed part of the gate. He had given us the all clear when we were returning to camp. Sneaking past Abby, however, was a different story.

I tiptoed past Abby's personal bunk, just down the row from where my own personal set up was. My heart pounded in my chest. All I could think about was Anya telling me how loudly I tramped through the forest. I put all of my concentration into stepping lightly and maneuvering around twigs and loose gravel that would give me away.

In truth, it wasn't that late, but it was late enough that Abby would be retired to her designated sleeping area. However, for civilians, curfew was sundown. If I was caught now, I'd be seized and given a punishment. Ten lashings from the electric rod, most likely. I rolled my eyes at the thought. Ever since Finn's death, Raven, Bellamy, myself, and few of the other one hundred that were left, not including Octavia and Murphy, had been filed under damaged goods and lumped in with the civilians.

I guess it's not all bad. The rest of the camp wanted to see us put on trial for treason. After all, assisting a war criminal in his escape was a capital offense. Thankfully, Abby and the other two council members disagreed. The three of us were too important to be disposed of. And yet, here we were, being forced to sit around and do nothing.

Octavia, on the other hand, was being taught the native language of the grounders. She would be imperative in gaining their trust for the strengthening of the new truce. Murphy was good with a gun and he, along with Octavia, had been the only one who hadn't been caught trying to help Finn. In the eyes of the camp leaders, we needed man power, and from where they were standing, Murphy had it. He was the perfect soldier. Someone who wouldn't get blinded by friendship. Good riddance.

Finally, I made it back to my tent with little more than a sigh or two. I collapsed into my hammock roll, eager to sleep for once, despite the nightmares that had been plaguing my dreamscape.

"Enjoy your night out on the town?" I flinched and spun so that I could see the rest of my makeshift room. I couldn't see much in the dim light, but from what I could make our there was a female silhouette sitting at the foot of my bed. I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

How could I have missed my mother sitting there? I mean, it was dark, but it wasn't that dark. I sighed. "Mom, what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed or something?" Heaven knew, that's where I wanted to be right now. Oh, wait.

"I came to check up on you after dinner. I figured you must still be feeling sick so, I brought you a plate so that you could have it if you wanted something later. When I saw that you weren't in your tent I went looking around the camp only to discover that no one had seen you since around sundown. That's when I noticed that Bellamy and Raven were conveniently missing as well. So my question still stands: where did you and your friends go? Abby stared me down in the darkness. She held a slightly annoyed tone in her voice, but there was a certain tightness to it that told me that she was genuinely worried for my well being.

At this point in time, I didn't care how badly she worried about me. "How do I know I won't be treated more like a child once I know the answer?" I spat. My mother was a big part of the reason that I had been put on the civilian list. Just thinking about it made the pit of fury that had been laying dormant in my stomach boil over. I'd been holding in my frustrations with her for way too long.

"Don't answer a question with a question, Clarke." Abby replied, seemingly unfazed by my response.

I didn't answer. Maybe I was being childish, but after all that had happened, I felt that I had a right to be. At least for a short time. Abby had lied to me and manipulated me, far too many times. While she was still my mother, there were just some things that she didn't have a right to. Knowing about Finn's wake was one of them.

Abby gave a frustrated sigh. "Fine, you don't want to talk? Whatever. The least you can do is eat." She shoved a plate of food toward me, clearly fed up with the attitude that I was giving her. Not that I cared.

Cautiously, I looked at the food on the plate. It was cold by now, so it wasn't giving off much of an odor, which I was thankful for. I was honestly tired of how many times I had gotten sick the last couple weeks. There wasn't much on the plate, enough rations for one person. On one side, there were some sort of dark colored berries and on the other, was whatever game had been caught recently. Off to the side there was also a fatty, protein filled paste that had been provided by the grounders. We had been told that it was used to store fat and stock pile energy for the coming winter.

My eyes returned to the woman standing in front of me. "Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm not hungry." It was the truth. Just the thought of putting something in my mouth was enough to make my gag reflex kick in.

"That's what you've said for the last week. You've hardly eaten anything since Finn died, and when you do eat it just gets tossed back up. I don't know what to think here, Clarke. You don't talk to me anymore so all I'm left with is my speculations. I mean are you purposely starving yourself, intentionally puking? Are you sick?"

I stared at her in shock, unable to wrap my mind around my own mother thinking such a thing. Then again, it _was_ Abby. "You think I'm intentionally making myself sick? What the hell mom?"

She looked exasperated. "After Finn-"

I could swear that my heart almost stopped. My chest tightened. "'After Finn,' what?" I cut her off before she could continue. As much as I tried to control it, my voice trembled as I spoke. God, when did I become so weak? I continued, not giving Abby a chance to speak again.

"I killed Finn. _I_ did that. I did _not_ lose every bit of my sanity because of it. I miss him deeply and at times I regret and even over think my decision, but I will not be talked to as if I were a child. I have been through too much and survived too many things to be cast aside like a love sick teenager who has no idea what she's doing.

I heard Abby try to speak, but I didn't want to stick around to hear it. My head was spinning with rage and all I knew was that I had to get out of there. I exited the tent and started walking. I had no idea where my feet were taking me, but I figured it didn't matter.

Before I knew it, I had made it all the way across camp and found myself standing in front of Bellamy's tent. I didn't hesitate before walking inside.

He must've heard me come in because as soon as I entered, he removed his arm from its resting spot across his eyes. A look of confusion clouded over his features. "Clarke? Bellamy rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to refocus. What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

"Can I crash here tonight? I don't feel like dealing with Chancellor Griffin right now," I explained. I was slightly surprised at the amount of venom that my words held. Was I really that hateful? I was too tired to think on it, so I pushed it out of my mind for the time being.

Bellamy sat up and looked at me with careful eyes. "Um, yeah. Sure, I don't mind." He stood and raised a hand to the bed that he had just been laying on. "You can take the cot if you want."

I shook my head and took a seat on the ground. "No, I just needed a safe haven for the night. You can keep your bed."

"I insist," Bellamy replied. His brow was furrowed in seriousness and his eyes held a haziness that said he was exhausted, probably as much physically as he was mentally.

When I didn't move from my spot in the dirt, Bellamy grabbed an extra bed roll from a spot in the corner and laid it out flat on the ground before stretching out on it.

I watched wordlessly, rolling my eyes a little at his actions. He had never been so chivalrous to me before. It seemed a little ridiculous to start now. I sighed. If he was going to insist on giving up his bed for me, who was I to argue? I laid on the bed and thanked Bellamy before being claimed by sleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I woke early, thankfully before Bellamy, and made my way across camp. The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon. The grass and leaves were still wet with dew and the forest surrounding the camp lit up with its fluorescent blues and greens.<p>

I had gotten up at just the right time. The rest of the compound would still be asleep, which meant the medical tent would be empty. No one would be there to see me sneak in or out.

I walked through the establishment as quickly and quietly as possible, trying to draw little attention to myself. I tore open the flap to the tent and began searching for the item that I needed. To any other civilian, looking through my mother's medical supplies would've been hell, but I was well versed in my mother's organizational system, so I was able to find the object of interest with ease. I stuffed the plastic wrapped instrument inside my pack and headed back across camp.

I briskly walked down the row of tents until I found the one I was looking for. Murphy was laying haphazardly on his bunk snoring away without a care in the world. In this light, and at this angle, he almost looked innocent. Almost.

"Murphy," the name came out as a whisper. He continued snoring. I sighed. This was going to be no easy feat. I knelt down and shook Murphy's shoulder. "Murphy!" I tried again, not daring to raise my voice higher than an octave or two.

This time, Murphy flinched awake and scooted back on his cot. "Holy fuck, Clarke, what the fuck is your problem?" One hand clutched at his chest as he tried to regulate his breathing in an attempt to pick up the shattered pieces of his dignity.

I hesitated. Was I really going to ask this of Murphy, of all people? I thought for a moment, weighing my options. I decided that I really didn t have a choice. Drastic times called for drastic measures. "I need to ask a favor..."

The boy in front of me deadpanned. "I can't put down another section of gate if that's what you're asking me. I almost got caught last time. I'm not losing my guard position so you can go and do whatever. Now if you don 't mind, I've had a long night." Murphy attempted to lay back down, but I grabbed his arm.

"Would you stop being selfish for once in your miserable life and listen to me?" Murphy's arrogant selfishness caused my resolve to harden pretty quickly. I didn't have time for his bull shit. I had to get out of here before my mom woke up and came looking for me.

Murphy sighed and looked at me with a slight glare. "I'm listening, princess," he replied.

Tears pricked my eyes when the bittersweet nickname reached my ears. _Pull yourself together, Clarke._ _You can't keep losing it like this._ I thought to myself. With a sigh, I pushed the tears back from my eyes. "I need you to walk me through the gates. Say that you're escorting me to meet with Lexa."

"And just why would I do that?"

"Because I believe that somewhere deep down in that pitch black soul of yours, you're a good person, John Murphy." I said, hoping that would work. Unfortunately, Murphy usually wasn't one for flattery.

"Good person or not, I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight, Clarke." Murphy rolled over, probably with every intent on ignoring me until I went away.

"Damn it, Murphy!" I didn't think physical violence would work. That would only piss him off. So tried the next best thing instead. I dropped to my knees.

"This may be the most important thing you ever help anyone do. Please, I need your help." Begging was a new low for me. I knew that. But if it would get Murphy to help me, then I didn't mind it.

Murphy turned slightly to glance at me. "Did I just hear the princess beg me, of all people, to help her?"

I looked back at him earnestly. "You're my only chance..."

The desperation must've shown in my voice because Murphy rolled his eyes and sat up with a sigh. "Fine, you've got my attention." He began pulling on his boots. And then he looked at me with the most serious look I've ever seen. "But if we get caught, mark my words, I will kill you."

I nodded and rose to my feet. "I don't doubt it." Murphy finished getting dressed and then lead us out of the tent and to the front of the camp.

A guard stopped us. "Name and ID, please." He held a scanner in his hand

"John Murphy," Murphy replied, as he held out his right wrist. He continued speaking as the guard scanned over the spot in his wrist where the Ark's ID chips were located. "I'm escorting Miss Griffin outside of the camp on the orders of Chancellor Griffin." I stared slightly open mouthed at Murphy. What was he doing? That wasn't the plan...

The other guard inquired further. "What's outside of the camp that Miss Griffin needs an escort for?"

Murphy's jaw visibly tightened. It was easy to see that he was nervous. And rightly so. "Chancellor Griffin has decided that Clarke should spend an hour by herself each morning so that she can recover from recent events. I've been assigned as her escort." He was a really good liar. I briefly wondered how he came upon the trait before dismissing the thought. It wasn't important.

The guard hesitated for a moment before opening the gate. "You have two hours. Make it quick."

Murphy nodded and guided me from camp. I felt a heavy weight lift off my shoulders as I exhaled a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I guess Murphy wasn't the only one who was on edge.

"Now that we're out here, do you want to tell me what this is about?" Murphy's voice cut through my thoughts like butter. Crap. I knew he was going to be a stubborn asshole, but I hadn't counted on him asking questions.

I shook her head and continued walking. "Follow me," I replied, ignoring Murphy's protests.

"Woah, I don't think so, princess. I got you out here, now I'm not going another step until you tell me what's going on." Murphy stood his ground. I inwardly groaned and contemplated the pros and cons of telling him what I was doing. For now, I would lie. He didn't need to know just yet.

"I just needed some time alone. I'm getting a lot of pressure from my mom. And I needed some familiar surroundings." Well. It was partially true.

Murphy ran a hand through his brown hair and glared. "I'm risking my badge because you needed some figurative _air_?"

I continued walking. "Essentially."

"Great..." Murphy followed, keeping a steady pace behind me.

* * *

><p>We made it to our destination in record time. To anyone else, it probably would've looked like a random spot in the forest, but I recognized the entrance to the bunker almost immediately. I dropped to the ground and pulled out my stolen equipment from the medical tent.<p>

"Here, hold this." I said, handing my back pack to Murphy.

I heard him growl and say, "I did not sign up to be a pack mule, damn it." I disappeared into the bunker before he could argue anymore.

The bunker hadn't changed much since I last visited. Bellamy came here the day after Finn died and cleared out the body that had been here. He had tried to clean up the blood the best he could, but the stain still remained. At the very least, there was no lingering smell. For that, I was thankful.

I sat on the couch slowly, and turned the medical instrument over in my hands, removing it from its plastic wrapping. Ten minutes, that's all it took for the results to appear. I wasn't sure I was ready to know.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I uncapped one end and stabbed the short needle into the fleshy part of my forearm, then threw the lancet to the other side of the couch. I didn't want to look at it anymore. I put my head in my hands and tried to block out the tornado of thoughts that was continuously ramming into my brain.

I don't know how long I sat there. It must've been a while though, because the next thing I knew, I heard Murphy stomping on the entrance to the bunker. "Come on, Clarke. I don't know what you're doing but I'm tired of waiting out here."

I didn't realize that I was crying until I pulled my hands away from my face and discovered that they were wet. I wiped them on my pants and used the sleeve of my jacket to clear the tears from my face. I _hated_ being this emotional.

Cautiously, I reached for the test. I held it in my hands, refusing to look at it. In all reality, I already knew what the test would say. I wasn't dumb. But I needed proof before I could proceed with what to do. Taking a deep breath, I glanced at the tiny screen on the plastic part of the syringe.

One tiny word glared back at me, confirming the thoughts that had been running through my head all along. I sighed and then briefly placed my palm to my abdomen, thinking about all of the crap I had put this little life through, and all the crap still to come. It must be strong to have survived so much in such a short time.

I let my hand drop to my side and climbed the ladder leading back to the surface. The sun had finally risen into the sky drying up the remaining wetness of the night before, and dousing out the blue glow that the darkness of the forest brought. Murphy had his arms crossed and was glaring at a tree. I rolled my eyes. Was he ever in a good mood? Ignoring the thought, I made my way over to him and picked my pack up off of the ground.

"I'm ready to go," I said, a lot calmer than I felt.

"I'm not. Enough with the secrecy. I want to know what's going on and I want to know now." Murphy replied.

He had done his job, done everything I asked of him. He deserved an actual answer. Slowly, I raised the plastic piece that was in my hand so that it was at eye level.

Murphy stared blankly back at it, unsure of what it was. "I'm guessing this holds some sort of significance in Clarke land?"

I hesitated, looking at the object. "...It's a test..." I said, finally.

Murphy scoffed. "Okay, I'll bite. A test for what? Princess catch an STD?"

I deadpanned. "No, Murphy. That's just you." I was tolerating none of his snark today.

Murphy rolled his eyes. "A test for what then? You've gotta give me something. I'm risking my ass for you. The least you can do is tell me why."

A lump had formed in the back of my throat and I couldn't speak. Instead I just held out the syringe, avoiding eye contact. This was all becoming too real, too quickly. How could I have let this happen?

I watched as Murphy took the test gingerly in his hands, avoiding the exposed needle point. He turned it around until the side with the screen looked back at him. An amused smile spread across his face.

"Murphy, this isn't funny!" Of course, he would be the one to find amusement in this. I wanted to scream.

"No, this is better than anything I could've thought up. Princess has a bun in the oven. This is hilariously ironic!" He laughed a little and handed the syringe back to me. I took it and shoved it back in my pack. Asshole.

Slowly, the amusement in Murphy's eyes turned into an unrecognizable expression. "Is it Spacewalker's?" He asked.

I nodded, and bit my lip willing myself to stop trembling. Did the tears _ever stop_? I missed having control over my emotions.

The silence of the forest stretched over the next few minutes. Murphy fidgeted awkwardly in front of me. "So what now?" He seemed about as uncomfortable as I felt. Neither of us had been in this sort of situation before.

I sighed. "Now we go back to the camp and get rid of it..." My reply was simple.

Murphy gave me a look. "That's it?"

"That's it." I started walking back in the direction that we had came. After a few seconds I heard Murphy follow.

This was going to be a long day.

**_/AN: I think in an odd sense I'm more satisfied with how this chapter turned out than how the first one did. I rewrote this one four different times, though... Anyway part three will be up as soon as possible. -Kit/_**


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